We must reach forgiveness to move forward
Phil Maher
11 hours ago
Twenty years ago this month, the Rwandan genocide became a new global
measuring stick for misery. As an aid worker, I remember it well.
More than 800,000 people were killed, mostly beaten and hacked to
death in the most gruesome of mass killings in modern history. In
terror, millions of displaced families fled to squalid refugee camps
in Congo and Tanzania. Many of those who survived the massacre in
Rwanda died in those camps. In some places, bodies were piled six feet
high like firewood; the smell was unbearable. It seemed that Rwanda
was crying, but nobody was listening. This was my entrée to the horror
of Rwanda.
I vividly recall driving from those crowded refugee camps to Kigali,
the capital of Rwanda. Arriving at night, I found it dark and
deserted. I could almost feel the emptiness. In the light of day, it
was not difficult to imagine the horrors its people had endured. I
walked through the empty streets among the foxholes, artillery shells,
and the periodic passports that were strewn on the ground by those who
presumably tried to escape. It was chilling.
I have since returned to Rwanda numerous times. As part of my role
with World Vision at the time, I interviewed survivors and listened to
their stories. Some escaped by hiding in pit latrines, under bodies,
or in swamps. One woman told me how she begged her brother to kill
her, simply to avoid being hacked to death by the militia. Some called
it factory killing. I can only describe it as a conveyor belt of
misery and pain that continued for years.
Some estimate that a third of the country still suffers from some form
of trauma as a result of this mass slaughter.
The worst part for me was coming home. It didn't take long for my
grief to evolve into anger, and from there, for my anger to devolve
into a free fall that crushed my very soul. I could no longer look at
a kitchen knife without seeing it as a potential weapon. Television
crime dramas repulsed me; they seemed to trivialize violence.
Even today, 20 years later, barely a month goes by that at some point,
I don't think about Rwanda. The trauma of the genocide not only
continues to pulse through those Rwandans who survived it, but also
through those of us (admittedly to a lesser extent) who took part in
the humanitarian mission. Rwanda was a life-changing event for us all
-- journalists, peacekeepers and aid workers alike. It also taught me
one of the most significant lessons of my life -- the importance of
forgiveness.
To be fair, it wasn't just Rwanda that reinforced for me the need to
forgive, but also the contemporary news at the time that swirled
around horrific events taking place in other troubled corners of the
globe, including Somalia, Bosnia, and Sudan, all of which are
countries I had visited through my work. The global melee caused by
all these simultaneous wars made it clear to me that hate, no matter
what the reason, does not solve anything. Retribution is pregnant with
more of the same.
No doubt the world needs love, but even more, what it really needs is
forgiveness. Love is too often an emotion, but forgiveness is love
applied. And we need to offer it to one another if humanity is not
only to thrive, but also to survive.
The truth is, I'm not a naturally forgiving person, and if we are
really honest with ourselves, we could ask, "Who is?" Moreover, I
suspect that many people have probably had to forgive me more than I
have had to forgive them. While I would never argue that justice
should not be served to those who have committed crimes, I would also
argue that at some point, we have to forgive -- we have to move on.
Sometimes, forgiveness means we must pardon the seeds of conflict that
started long ago.
Forgiving each other in Canada may seem a long way off from forgiving
those responsible for Rwanda's genocide. Most of us have never
committed murder. But repugnant events on a global scale often start
small because hatred starts small. Forgiveness is difficult because it
starts large, as a deliberate decision to surrender pain and grief
caused by someone else.
Many of those who committed offences during the genocide have admitted
to their crimes, and have asked forgiveness from their communities.
Astonishingly, and with what brings hope to humanity, these people
have received the pardon they have sought from their victims. Men who
hacked off the arms of innocent women, and who went on to kill their
sons, have become stepsons to the very women they dismembered, helping
them to live their lives without hands. Such an example of enormous
forgiveness is a model rarely seen elsewhere on earth.
Meeting these people has been both shocking and inspiring for me, and
has underscored the importance of forgiveness, not just at home, but
on a global scale. If humanity is to survive, forgiveness must be the
first step we take on the road to resolving issues for which there are
few solutions.
http://m.therecord.com/opinion-story/4484767-we-must-reach-forgiveness-to-move-forward/
--
SIBOMANA Jean Bosco
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